I've been a terrible person but I want to change?

First i would like to say good job, you are young and we live in a world of instant gratification its not hard to see why you would want to ditch your amazing bf to see if the world has to offer more. please dont let anyone judge your unlady like behaviour really its not their business. you have decided to turn around so that makes you a beautiful compassionate human being. Tell him your sorry for hurting him and you know that you will have to earn his trust. dont begin where you left, you have to start dating all over again. hangout laugh then slowly see if a movie and dinner date would be ok with him. be the girl he fell in love with. we all want to live our alter egos life you have done what most women are to scared to do. Well goodluck and i hope it works but if not you learned valuable life lessons and have truly been able to live. you have to the change charity work wont make you better if you see it as a selfpunishment